So I’m sitting in Starbucks drinking my tall cup of black Kenya, the bold flavor of the week. And don’t judge me . . . coffee in NYC is terrible UNLESS you go to Starbucks. If you have a better suggestion, I’m open.
I sit at a table with my laptop in hopes of breaking through the fortress that is T-Mobile. In case you are unaware, T-Mobile has the rights to Starbucks’ wifi access. You have to have an account through them in order to use their web. What a rip. I could pay $40 per month and access it, but I think not.
Instead, I try to pick up random wireless waves coming through the surrounding offices and apartments. So far, T-Mobile wins. But this Saturday morning I’m sitting there trying to log on when an elderly Polish man asks if he can join my table. Sure, go ahead, I’m busy trying to steal the internet.
He sits quietly at first, sipping his overly creamy cup of coffee. Then he decides he has a bone to pick with me and anyone who uses a laptop. He starts up, “You must be very busy.”
“No sir, not really. I’m just trying to log on to the internet.”
“When I was a kid, we played all day. We played basketball and ran around. We didn’t sit. We walked and we moved our legs. Nowadays, it’s just computers, computers and sleeping. My daughter, this is all she does. Type type type all day, then sleep.”
“Yeah, it’s important to have a balance. That’s true.”
He begins to throw himself into a tizzy of frustration. Creamy coffee is pooling at the corners of his mouth as he froths in anger, “There’s no balance!! No time! There’s no time! I say to my daughter, ‘Get out! Use your muscles! What’s wrong with you?’”
Ok, I don’t know how you do it in the old country, but we don’t have mental breakdowns in front of strangers in coffee shops. “So, uhhh, she doesn’t like to exercise?”
“Look at you and the others (he points to the other two laptop users in the area)! It’s horrible! No body moves around any more! This is why Americans are so fat.”
Excuse me?! Breathe Susan. This man did NOT just call you fat. Did he? I’m running a half marathon tomorrow you grumpy old buzz killer. I’m trying to enjoy my coffee here. I can sense the others around feeling sorry for me but at the same time, thanking their lucky stars he didn’t join them.
I shut down my computer in defeat – no wireless. Sure I'm unemployed, homeless, blogging, and what not, but I’m trying. And I exercise everyday! I tell my new angry friend that I have to go find some free wifi and a vegan scone, and as bad as that may sound to him, I’m NOT his daughter. Save it for the therapist, grandpa. Gotta go. When I pop up from my seat, my computer case bangs the table and sloshes his coffee all over. I want out of there so bad, but I go gather some napkins and help him clean up the mess. Then I try again with what pride I have left, "Good day, sir."
